Notice found in an issue of the San Francisco Chronicle, dated March 27, 1867:

“Worthy of Note.
Persons contemplating dying soon are remined that the present times are favorable towards the securing of a respectable crowd of mourners. This is mainly owing to the fact that the Central R.R. Company charge but one fare to the Lone Mountain cemetery. Hence, haste, hurry, improve your time and die now if you would secure a live funeral.”

Sheesh Chronicle, alright we can take a hint!